Thursday, December 20, 2007

Disappointment in me

Well, today stunk. About an hour before we were to leave for the lawyer, the moment we have been waiting for for weeks, I got sick. Mom says everything just caught up with me. I am not sure if that is true or not. But whatever hit me did not let me hit it back. I am so disappointed. I feel like I have let everyone down. I was so sick I had to go to bed. I will spare you the details, I can hear you thanking me for that, but I was in such pain and just too sick to get up. Whether it was stress and distress catching up to me or my terrible eating habits this month I am not sure. I just feel like I am falling apart. Physically, mentally, spiritually. I am sorry for letting everyone one down. Especially for letting dad down. I need to be able to stand up to anything. My wise Australian brother told me to just fall apart for as many days as I need to. I am not sure if I can afford to do that. But I can atleast take tonight to do that.
So now we will call the lawyer and schedule an appt when he is back in town Jan. 7. He has gone out of town for Christmas. In putting things in their proper place he probably would not have been able to devote any time to our cause anyway, but still I am sorry I let people down. Mom did not want to go without me.
On the positive side, Mom did call me when I was sleeping and asked me if I wanted her to pick up my son from school. So she and the dog did venture out on their own today for the first time. I am proud of her for that. It may be a small step but all journeys start with a single step. Good job!

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