Saturday, November 21, 2009

I miss my Dad. I need a hug.

I miss my dad. I need a hug.

Heavy sigh...Today I was minding my own business and some chick pulls into my lane. I am okay. Mom is okay. Car bumper is scratched.
But this chick says I hit her. She is clearly at fault. I am so sad. I am so tired of people taking advantage of me. Stop walking all over me!
If my dad were here he would hug me. One of those excellent bear hugs of his. The kind that let you know you are safe. The kind that make you cry because you can let it all out and know that someone will take care of you.
I don't care how old you get to be, or how hard you make your heart, there are times when you need to be protected. Times when you want someone to make the world go away. Times when you just need to be hugged. And when that is gone. You feel sad. I miss that the most. The one person in the world that protected me. I think I would give anything to have that feeling again. To have that safe place. To have that hug.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I was feeling very UN Thanksgiving like for the past week or so. You know the story..last thing we did with Dad was celebrate our Thanksgiving on Sunday. The last "good" day he had was in the hospital ON Thanksgiving. Then ....well you know the rest. So I was thinking this year would be a good year to go to McDonald's or a pizza parlor or something very UN Thanksgiving like.
But then, Monday, after having a tooth extracted ( yes me but don't ask & ouch) my mother surprised me by saying she was thinking about making a Thanksgiving meal. Would I mind? Would I mind!?! I was excited!! Signs of life!! Oh joy!
I started feeling Thankful. I even had a dream about my dad! That never happens. Maybe once since he died. This one was very vivid I heard his voice as clear as a starry night. He was telling me not to worry about the bread or he was bringing the bread or had the bread...whatever I guess dad has the bread part of the meal taken care of! Ha ha.
So I guess I am Thankful....again. Thanks Dad! I hope someone has some butter for this bread.