Friday, April 25, 2008

This is the way, Walk in it.

We are in the 20’s for the 5th time now. It has been five long months. It still hurts but now the ache is more dull. Not really easier to take just a little different now. I still miss dad every day of my life. I want so badly for him to be home. That part still hurts sharply. The weather is turning to be more “springy” and dad should be in the yard all day long. Planting and mowing and taking care of things. I really want to look out my window and see that. I still cry. The pain still hits me when I don’t expect it to. But it is five months now. We have survived for five months. Am I still going to be counting the 20’s five years from now?

I had started writing this yesterday before my mom called about the primary doctor calling to see if she had any questions about the autopsy....well we were doing good. Poor mom. She is trying so hard and had finally gotten to a point where every minute she did not see dad at the hospital...and then this brings it all back. But we will be strong.

A dear friend of mine just sent me an email with this Bible verse: “How gracious he will be when you cry for help . . . Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’” (Isaiah 30:19, 21) This is what we must remember. To follow the path. To trust that God will hold us and lead us.

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