Sunday, April 13, 2008

You Got A Friend

Today it is cold and cloudy. The grass is getting greener and there are buds on the trees. There are some flowers brave enough to be open but where is the sunshine and warmth? I think the warmth is within you. The happiness is within you. You make your own sunshine. You find your own joy.
........Last night I was lucky enough to spend the evening with some warm and loving people. I went to trivia at church. Okay, maybe not everyone's idea of fun. But we had fun. Honest. The best thing was that I got to spend time with friends. Yes, friends. I know I was on here whining not that long ago about losing two of my friends when I lost my dad. But last night I saw in a new light two different friends. I got the blessing of reconnecting with a dear old friend who I rarely get a chance to see. And having fun with a new friend who I love dearly as well. They opened my eyes and my heart to what I have been missing for months. The need to feel a connection with someone who you care about who cares about you. I spend so much time and energy trying to be all together and brave and secure in my life, I forgot how nice it is to just laugh. How healing it is to have friends.
........My friends M & K (okay I hate to use people's names because it just seems like they should have some say in if their names should be sent out into the great unknown net) are the most amazing people I know. They are kind and smart and funny. I had such a good time. I can't remember the last time I had fun.
........Last night made me realize how much I miss my old friend M ( I know I am not using her name but if there is anyone out there who knows me and cannot figure this one out shame on you!) How much fun we used to have as kids. We were young and naive but we had fun. Now we are older but we can still have the same fun. It showed me how much I miss spending time with her and I truly hope that in the future we can get together much more often. I have missed you M more than I even thought I could! I know you are always my friend and will be forever and you would be here in a second if I needed you...but it is so nice to spend time with you just because it is fun and I love to be with you. I sure hope we can do better than seeing each other 2 times a year!
........My friend K is new to my life. But I instantly loved her when I got to know her. The more I know her the more I love her. She has all the qualities and kindness of M. She is also funny and smart and caring with a good heart and I was really so happy that she could make it last night! I guess you are never too old to make a good friend. (Hugs to you Bean!)
.........These two woman shared with me sadness from their lives and in turn helped me to know that I am not alone in my journey of over coming heart break. They are brave and caring and everything I dream to become.
........So today it may be cold and cloudy outside, but in my heart the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming because I have friends. Good friends. Maybe God just knows there comes a time for you to stop trying to do it alone ....There comes a time......when you need a friend.

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