Ain't No Sunshine.

It is hard to believe that January is almost over. Whew! There ya go. It means that we are that much closer to Spring! I am not a "winter" kind of gal. I do not like being cold. I do not like ice or snow. The sun has not been out in over 2 weeks! They say we may have sunshine this week but it will not last more than a day, if it lasts that long. Why is it that the coldest time of the year is also the most sad and dreary??

It is hard to smile when there is no sun. It is easy to be lazy and tired and clueless this time of year. The demons are darker, the depression is keener. Not that I am crazy depressed or anything...I just mean it is easier to fall into it this time of year.

My dog, the lovely Babette, had an awful eye ulcer. In the past 2 weeks it has cost $400 for her to get well. I have no money. I buy my clothes at Goodwill. I skimp on groceries to try to pay the bills. There are things on my house that desperately need to be fixed but I cannot fix them And let's not even go into the amount of dental work I STILL need even after the $1,000 I have already spent on my mouth. But there was no hesitation when it came to making my dog better. Funny how a little bundle of fur can depend 100% on you taking care of her. It makes you aware that when you take responsibility for a life you need to really mean it. Even if that little life has four legs.

So when it is cold or dark and life is distressing you can look at the little dog and she will trust you completely without question. She knows she cannot do it on her own....she needs your love and care. Maybe it is very good to have a dog in the middle of winter. Maybe we could learn a lesson from them. Maybe every once in a while all we want is someone to take care of us and pet us on the head.

Jack Frost is nipping at my nose.

It is so cold in my office I think I might get frost bite! I mean Jack Frost must be in some kind of a bad mood! The other end of the office is warm and toasty but down at this end if feels like a meat locker, as if I have ever been in a meat locker! But I imagine it feels like this. At lunch today I had to walk over to the bank and it was 9 degrees with a MINUS 6 wind chill. When I was a kid we did not have wind chill factors. We knew it was cold. We just did not know how cold it really felt. In grade school the girls still wore dresses back in the day. We could wear long pants ONLY if the temperature was below 32 degrees in the morning when school started. And jeans?? We could not wear jeans at all period. I think I was in junior high before we could finally wear jeans to school. There was a big high school walk out to protest us not getting to wear jeans to school. This was the early 70’s. I mean the age of Woodstock and Vietnam and we could not wear jeans to school. That seems like it would not be possible… but it is. Funny how things change and you don’t even notice. Seems almost unbelievable that I went to school back when girls could not wear pants! Today I have on pants and tights and fuzzy socks and 2 shirts and 2 sweaters but Jack Frost is still nipping at my nose and ears and fingers…..Thank goodness I don’t have to wear a dress!!

A new year

Happy 2010. A new year. A new decade! I have to say that I was not that fond of the past 10 years. Maybe this new decade will be full of surprises and joys! I sure hope so!
Where do you think you will be in 10 years? Oh you are right, I hate things like that. How about where were you 10 years AGO? I was 43 and did not know how YOUNG I was! (You know it is like the thing where you think you are fat and then years in the future you look back and think DANG I looked so GOOD back then...now I am 20 pounds HEAVIER!) LOL I was discussing with my friend Gale this weekend that we used to go to dinner AND a movie and now we have to decide which one we would rather do because we do not have the energy or money for both!
10 years ago my son was 10 and in grade school. He is now 20 and in his second year of college! He went to Ireland last year and will go to Israel this year. In the past 10 years he learned to drive and graduated from high school. He has come a long way! Maybe it is fitting that your life comes so far when you are young enough to handle the changes!!
If you are reading this then you have access to the Internet. I think the thing socially that has made a change in how I meet new people and stay in touch the past 10 years is my computer and the Internet. I have made some wonderful friends over the Internet. And no it was not Internet dating or anything like that! It is a way to stay in touch. I stay in touch with my cousin who lives in Tennessee. We can chat or she can text me and we help each other make it through the day. It is a way to say hi to someone you love but not have to bother them with a phone call. With an email they can answer at their leisure!
This year I stayed in touch with Gabriela ,who I knew vaguely, but when she had to go to Romania when her father was ill it was a way to reach out to someone in pain and to cultivate a friendship that is now very dear to me! I got to know a kind soul in Jeffry (who claims he is from the planet Saturn but we love him anyway) on Facebook. I got back in touch with Digger who I went to grade school with many moons ago. Email has been a way for me to get in touch with a big group at one time so we can all meet up for dinner! SO much easier than making 12 phone calls.
I want to send a special Internet hi to my blog friend Walker! You make me smile! And a hug to Donna who is probably the only other person who wanders on here to read my thoughts. I am glad we can be in touch and I hope to see you at more plays!!
The Internet is not the only place I made friends this year...This year I met my dear Hera in a high school lobby while buying tickets to an awesome production of Les Miserable! It pays to strike up a conversation with the person next to you in line. My life is so much richer with her in my life. I also met Beth at an awards dinner. If I used every colorful word I know to describe her I still could not.
It goes without saying the single event that had the largest impact on my life the past 10 years was the loss of my beloved dad. It has been 2 years now. We have survived even when we thought we would not. I am at a place now where some days he seems so real to me. I still carry him in my heart and use him to stay strong.
So here we are ready to face a new year. Excited. Scared. Bewildered. It is like a blank page ready to be written on. Some of us will pick up a pen. Some of us a brush. Others of us will type. As long as we try, we think, we love, we create....We are not alone. We have each other.
We can do this. Happy new possibilities to us all.