Saturday, November 21, 2009

I miss my Dad. I need a hug.


I miss my dad. I need a hug.

Heavy sigh...Today I was minding my own business and some chick pulls into my lane. I am okay. Mom is okay. Car bumper is scratched.
But this chick says I hit her. She is clearly at fault. I am so sad. I am so tired of people taking advantage of me. Stop walking all over me!
If my dad were here he would hug me. One of those excellent bear hugs of his. The kind that let you know you are safe. The kind that make you cry because you can let it all out and know that someone will take care of you.
I don't care how old you get to be, or how hard you make your heart, there are times when you need to be protected. Times when you want someone to make the world go away. Times when you just need to be hugged. And when that is gone. You feel sad. I miss that the most. The one person in the world that protected me. I think I would give anything to have that feeling again. To have that safe place. To have that hug.



8 comments:

Walker said...

I know i am not there but I am as big as a bear and send you a hug.
Some people just don;t take responsibility for what they screw up.

Walker said...

Stopped in to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

~grey said...

I would give anything to feel that level of comfort and protection again too...

Saher said...

i feel the same way as you do,i lost my dad some 5 years back n i still miss his presence and i am still waiting for that fatherly hug which m never gonna get

Smokey's Daughter said...

Thanks to the dear people who left comments. Sorry I have not replied I did not know your comments were here. My heart smiles to see your lovely thoughts. Peace to you all.

Anonymous said...

Hello. I'm sitting here trying to somehow prepare myself for loosing my family. I am 24, and I'm an only child. My parents mean the world to me and there's hardly a night goes by that I don't shed tears wondering when I will be all alone. its my biggest fear by a long way. That being said, I am so sorry. I don't know your Dad, but his hugs sound like my Dad's hugs. I can't imagine how anybody copes with this sort of hurt. I don't have any friends who I can talk to about such a thing. I lost my great grandma in 2006, and she was a huge part of my life. Every time I look at her picture, I miss her and I loose it because I don't want to have to "remember" my parents. I don't want to be alone... I know a blog is just a blog, but I don't know what else to do. Im just spilling it I guess. Big hug. -Sam-

Smokey's Daughter said...

Dearest Anonymous from April 3,
Bless your heart. I just want to come through the Internet and give you a big hug and tell you it will all be okay. I understand your fear and pain. As an only child I have lived that too. It is hard. But you must not dwell on losing something that is still here. Do not live in fear of losing your family. Celebrate what you have now. If you spend time worrying what will happen in the future you will miss the beauty that is around you right now. I realize that is easy to say and hard to imagine when you are crying into your pillow at night fearing what a loss will feel like. And remembering your dear grandmother and missing her is painful. It is hard to be an only child. Right now my mom is an only child as am I and my son. There are only 3 of us. It is hard. But we must be strong.
It touches my heart that you signed your comment -Sam- because that is what my dad always called ME! Small world my friend, small world.
Now pull yourself together and put a smile on your face. Think of all the really nice things in your life right this minute. Celebrate that!
If you ever need a hand to hold or a hug....I am here.

Anonymous said...

hey i lost my dad too since 12 years now. i was ony 10 and it took me 10 years to try to live without him.but i believe in God.God says he his our father. Since i really accepted that reality i was able to accept my father's death and guess what God started sending me people who took care of me, who protected me and my pastor is my dad now. Be strong but go to god by talking to him and he will give you the love of a father and you will be able to have your smile back. John 3:16