I have had some hard moments the past few days. I have been missing my dad a lot. But then look at the date, we are in the 20's again. Maybe that is it. The other day driving down the street coming home from work it hit me and then again when I was writing on my calendar some upcoming dates for my son (Prom, graduation). God, I miss my dad. It is getting to be spring and I fully expect to see my dad out working in the yard. He loved to work in the yard, to cut grass and plant things. He was always puttering around. So I expect to see him out in the fresh air working or walking with his best friend and the dog. There are moments when it is just too much for me. Sometimes it hurts so much it is like someone hit me in the stomach. It is hard to breathe. I want to be able to hear his voice, to see him out my window. To just know he is there.
I feel so cheated. So heartbroken. So lost. Why did this happen? I know it is unfair of me to ask why, but I sometimes have to ask it. I know I am no more special than others who have suffered a life shattering blow. So I suppose I ask for all of us who are lost and heartbroken. Why?
My beloved father was taken from us November 29, 2007. My world was shattered and I was lost. He was the biggest hero in my life. This blog started as my journey of how I had to learn to face a world without him. It is now a story of how a soul tries to make sense in a world where sometimes nothing makes sense at all. On the road of grace you have to take it one moment at a time. A wise person once told me....Be gentle with yourself.
Please Listen to one of my Favorite Songs
- Wild Flower by Aaron Neville
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Be Strong
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.- Eleanor Roosevelt
Gramps & the light of his life
I know God will not give me more than I can handle, I just wish he did not trust me so much. -Mother Teresa
Gramps loved the theatre
Ryan and his biggest fan!
2 comments:
Dear Cindy, I definately understand what you are going through. I spent Easter crying thinking about Mother missing seeing Alecea in her Easter clothes. I also have been really down thinking about how I am doing so many things this year that I would have done with her. And it just makes me miserable to do these things without her, but I must go on even though I don't want to. I enjoy reading your blogs, thanks for sharing. I will be praying for you. Donna
Oh Donna,
I know what you are feeling. It is so hard. I will be praying for you too.
Your mother was so dear to me. She and my dad were special people who made others feel welcome.
Maybe sometime this spring we can get together and do something fun and happy like go to Shaw's Garden or something. That would be very nice.
Sending you hugs and thoughts to make you smile.
We have to be strong.
Much love to you always~ Thanks so much for your comments.
Cindy
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