Once upon a time my dad was a Park Ranger. His nick name was Smokey. It fit him. He was a big old cuddly teddy bear. He was grumpy on the outside and a cream puff on the inside. When I was scared or sad a hug from my dad would make my world feel safe and secure. I have said it before but life without him is like freefalling without a net. It is sad. It is scary. It is no fun.
Today is my Dad's birthday. If he were still here he would be 79 years old today. He has been gone 3.5 years now. In some ways it feels like it has only been days. In other ways it feels like he is not gone. Some days I still think I will look out the door and see him cutting grass. Some days I have to remind myself that he is not here. It is still hard. I thought that by now I would be used to the new normal of a life without my dad but that has not happened yet. It is so hard.
You know how people take someone out for dinner for their birthday? Well my dad used to take a bunch of people out and pay for THEIR dinners on HIS birthday. He was that kind of a guy. He was great. He was my hero........
Happy Birthday Dad. I love you.
I am Smokey's daughter and I am still heartbroken.
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